Will you blow on my dice?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
