Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
