I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
