I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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