do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
