We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I want a musical about memes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
