If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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