every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
