ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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