You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
