Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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