so that wasnt chicken after all
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
