worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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