You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
