I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
