remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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