one might say we're banned from that church
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
