some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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