Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
