a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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