Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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