I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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