Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
