Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
