I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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