what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Terrible idea I love it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
