It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
