you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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