do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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