he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
