i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
