Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
