the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
