GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
