look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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