let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
