i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
