trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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