i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
