Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
