i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
