You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
