and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
