everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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