he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
we should paint friendship bongs
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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