my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
