Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
