you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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