That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Farmville is her only friend.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
