I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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