Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
