I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
